I may have killed your cat today
Picture Source: marcodede and Animal Photos!
I am not normally the type to share poetry that I write. But there is one short poem that I wrote several years ago that is very near and dear to my heart.
For those of you that are in the animal rescue field, you know all too well that the warm months of summer bring about something that most of the general public is not aware of: kitten season. This is when female cats go into heat and start churning out litters of kitten like little, furry, kitten-factories. This is also when we are euthanizing kittens like crazy; either because they are too young, or we are full to the brim with kittens, and foster homes are full. Or we are euthanizing the poor adult casualties of kitten season; nobody wants to adopt an adult when there is a cute, bouncy, cuddly kitten in the next cage.
Euthanzing feral cats can be the worst because we have to tranquilize them first, but often need to get their kittens out prior to tranquilizing them, and so have to euthanize their kittens first. I always did my best to euthanize the kittens out of site of their mama cat; perhaps I was projecting a bit to assume that mama cat knew what was going on (like they’ve seen a syringe before?), but I figure its better to err on the side of caution.
I wrote this poem one day at the shelter after a particularly bad day. We had received numerous orphaned kittens, and mother/kitten combos, that we had to euthanize because we had no space from the plethora of other moms and kittens streaming through the door. I was frustrated and fed-up with the state of things, and it just kind of poured out of me as I put pen to paper. This poem is somewhat sad, and perhaps a little resentful, but I suppose the point of putting pen to paper in the moment is to catch a “snapshot” of how you are feeling right then and there.
I may have killed your cat today
This is just a note to say, that I may have killed your cat today
I wonder if you had even noticed that she had run away?
And do you know about the kittens she had? I think watching us kill them made her pretty sad
But soon it was her turn, with sad and frightened eyes
Did you know that for every kitten born, another kitten dies?
Of course you wouldn’t know that, or bother to even care
Because if you did, you would have spayed her, and not let her wander everywhere
And of course its all my fault, because I’m the animal killer
I bet you think I like my job; death is such a thriller
Well I assure that I don’t, and it rips me up inside, to know that for every kitten born, another kitten died.
~ Jessica Stout
Beautiful poem especially the first line. I remember the first time I helped the employees with cats. That friggin needle was sooooo big and they were so tiny. If I remember correctly the juice went directly into the liver and looked painful to the tiny kitten. I shut my eyes, I was allowed,I was a volunteer holder. The employees had no option. Bad day.